John Gottman is a highly renowned marriage researcher who has identified behaviors that long-term happy couples have in common. Some of the tips that he shares in his book, “The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work,” are listed below.
Seek Help Early
Many couples wait six years before seeking assistance which means six years of unhappiness. Addressing issues earlier will allow the opportunity for resolution and more years of happiness as a couple.
Don’t complain about everything that you feel is an infraction. Pick the major issues and address those and let the smaller things go.
Soften the “Start up”
This means using tactfulness in bringing up those important issues without being blaming or harsh.
Adjusting to your partner’s needs and requests is essential to a healthy relationship. If you are unable to accept influence from your partner you truly aren’t married except by legal standards.
Have High Standards
Expect that there not be abuse of any sort and that conflict is handled productively. Avoid name calling and threats to end the relationship.
Know When to Stop the Fight
Time outs are a great thing to call when the conflict starts to become destructive to your relationship. When you become upset to the point you may regret your behavior, call a time-out on yourself until you can calmly discuss the topic.
Focus on the Positive
There are no perfect relationships. Focus your attention on what is going well about your relationship as happy couples can list more positives than negatives about their relationship.
Content from http://www.gottman.com/marriage/self_help/
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