Timely Reminders: Healthy Relationships


Seven Tips for a Healthy Relationship

John Gottman is a highly renowned marriage researcher who has identified behaviors that long-term happy couples have in common. Some of the tips that he shares in his book, “The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work,” are listed below.

Seek Help Early

Many couples wait six years before seeking assistance which means six years of unhappiness. Addressing issues earlier will allow the opportunity for resolution and more years of happiness as a couple.

Edit Yourself

Don’t complain about everything that you feel is an infraction. Pick the major issues and address those and let the smaller things go.

Soften the “Start up”

This means using tactfulness in bringing up those important issues without being blaming or harsh.

Accept Influence

Adjusting to your partner’s needs and requests is essential to a healthy relationship. If you are unable to accept influence from your partner you truly aren’t married except by legal standards.

Have High Standards

Expect that there not be abuse of any sort and that conflict is handled productively. Avoid name calling and threats to end the relationship.

Know When to Stop the Fight

Time outs are a great thing to call when the conflict starts to become destructive to your relationship. When you become upset to the point you may regret your behavior, call a time-out on yourself until you can calmly discuss the topic.

Focus on the Positive

There are no perfect relationships. Focus your attention on what is going well about your relationship as happy couples can list more positives than negatives about their relationship.

Content from http://www.gottman.com/marriage/self_help/

For additional assistance with personal or work concerns, contact Agnesian HealthCare’s Work and Wellness Employee Assistance Program (EAP) at (800) 458-8183.

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